Wow, this is really awkward. I don't know how to say it, but... Okay, here goes. There's this bull. He hangs out in the field and--oh, my goodness--I don't know how to explain it. Those long, smooth horns, those deep brown eyes, that glorious coat... There's something about it that I just can't get over! I'm infatuated with this bull and I don't know what to do! I can't stop thinking about him. I hope my husband never sees his message, I don't know what he'd do. A king's wife, in love with a bull?!
Infatuated Femme
My dear Femme,
Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault you feel this way! Hell, maybe your husband pissed someone off and they cursed you. But I'll tell you what: I know a guy. His name is... we'll call him Mr. D for privacy. He's a great inventor, I'm sure he can build something to help you, er, fix this problem.
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wow lmao
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